I Can’t Keep It All Together

I can’t seem to escape how I feel. I have no motivation anymore. I don’t want to do anything anymore. 

I used to read so much. I would read anything I could get my hands on. I don’t read anymore, not because I don’t have time, but because I just don’t. I used to do alot of things that I just don’t anymore, I have no desire to get out of bed to do anything. Classic symptoms of depression.

You could say I’m going mad. And no one gets it at all. I try the meds, they don’t seem to work. I tell my doctor I want something to change, they’re in a wait and see pattern.

It seems to me that my life is slowly falling apart, and I can’t stop it. 

The song really gets to me because it’s slow, and soft, yet hold alot of power in it. That’s how I feel… I have this great desire to change, to get better, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. That may not make sense to some people. But it’s the truth. I’ve reached a point where I want to do something, but I just can’t make myself do it. And I don’t know what to do. And to quote Stephen Jenkins in “God of Wine” above:

I can’t keep it all together.
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I can’t keep it all together.

~ by Robert on March 20, 2009.